“It hurts less when you just accept that it sucks”.
I recently read a random fiction book that I got for free from Amazon. The best part about it was this line. It was given as advice from a sullen teenage boy whose dad had committed suicide. It’s a great line.
Whether we are talking about a death, a trauma, bad traffic, a broken bone, or any other “sucky” thing in life, accepting and feeling the reality of the situation are the only way that I know how to truly find relief.
We tend to try to distract ourselves from uncomfortable situations. We don’t often allow ourselves to look closely at and truly feel the pain of a difficult situation. This isn’t inherently bad- it’s a protective mechanism against perceived threat. But the denial of the reality of the situation often makes the pain feel worse.
This does not mean that we have to “be ok” with horrible situations. The practice is instead in finding acceptance that this is the reality. When we can see the reality, then we can find ways to relax with what is. And when we can relax with what is, the pain of the situation still exists, but our struggle against it eases. And that tends to hurt less.
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